Rereading some of the older posts, trying to figure out what's going on, and the one thing that bothers me about them? Nick lied. In the manuscript he was writing. Maybe he was just trying to hide his identity ("Mike"? Really? As if I didn't know that's your middle name), but there was a big deal about things.

Our parents died in 2009, not 2004, as bystanders in a car wreck. They were eating lunch in a diner when a largish truck plowed through. They were killed instantly, along with around five or six others, including the driver.

Shit like that bothers me.

Edit: Also, I'm getting annoyed with the changes to my profile. It won't let me change my picture back to what it was when I first started, but I think I can redo the background so it's not so blinding.

Rain.

Re: laughing

Ugh. Woke up this morning to a notice in my email saying that I have a video response, and sure enough, that's it. Hopefully people can see it now. It's...well, it's creepy. And quite frankly, it pisses me off.

laughing

What the fuck even is this shit anymore.

This was blank. But...but he did give me something.

laughing

I don't know what it means, and for some reason I can't actually embed it, but...I guess you'll just have to watch it. The email said he sent it to someone else. I don't know who. I hope they can see it.

Just a quick update.

Tad tipped me off about this website, where apparently lots of people gather to talk about video series, like Marble Hornets, which I used to watch before all of this started happening. It's called Unfiction.

I lurk there from time to time, and I discovered something: there's a thread about this blog. Nothing special yet, just a few people commenting about it, but there are two things I'm noticing about the place.

First of all, you treat these all like they're games. I can't speak for the people in the Marble Hornets and EverymanHYBRID videos, but if they're going through anything like what I'm going through, I can't help but think sometimes that it's disrespectful to treat it as though it's a game. It's not a game for me. I spent days and weeks drinking and hiding in the woods. It happens, I know people who do it because they don't have any other choices.

Second, there's a post there by a guy named UberTaco, who said something about my politics. Won't go into exactly what he said here, if you want to know, look it up. Basically, my response is this: I'm sorry if I offended you. I have my political beliefs, which include a heavily Democratic slant, yes. And you have yours, which appear to run the opposite direction. And that's okay. I'm not trying to convince you of anything here, and in the beginning, I was just ranting and raving about things that were annoying me in a stressful election season. And drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. Looking back on it, I don't specifically recall posting a lot of the things I did during November, so there's a better-than-average chance I was at least a little intoxicated.

And yeah, I remember talking about maybe bringing back the politics, but after that past few days? I've got bigger fish to fry.

The Final Video

And, of course, thankfully I anticipated just this event, and put together a little transcript of what's actually being said.

"So, for a little while,  this is the last time I'm gonna use the camera. Every time I record a video and watch it, on the camera it looks fine, but when I put it on my laptop and watch it there, there's some bizarre distortion. And when I upload it to YouTube it's even worse. So I'm gonna record this last video, and then I'm gonna put it away, and then I'm going to hope it goes away. All of this. I might still keep the blog up, I don't know.

I don't really know anything anymore.

I am going back to the park, though. I think that's something I'm going to do next week sometime, if I can find the time. Otherwise I'll probably go sometime early in August, I don't know. I'm going to try to get one of my friends to go with me this time, though, because I don't want to go alone. Not after what happened last time.

So yeah. No videos anymore, and this is it for the time being. If the camera clears up and this one doesn't fuck up like all the rest have, then maybe I'll do something else. Otherwise, I may just put this camera in storage and never use it again. And then, really, what would have been the point of giving it to me in the first place?"

July 13th -- An Update

In which I am bizarrely tired.

I spent until three in the goddamn morning searching this video for any sign that what I see in the video is actually there. Nothing at all. When I'm in an editing program, or a splicing program, or anything, it just plays normally, like it did on the camera.

I'm just so frustrated.

June 27th

How do I get home?

I woke up this morning on the couch, and for the first time in more than half a month I felt okay enough to actually fire up my laptop. Apparently my roommate found my new camera (more on that in a bit) yesterday and happened to have it on her to record something bizarre, which turned out, in the end, to be me, showing up passed out on the floor in front of the door. (There's more to it, I've seen the video, but I don't know what to make of it.)

I've read the updates, I've seen the video on my new YouTube account (that, while I don't remember making, I have the password to. It's registered to my email, to boot), and so far as I can tell, on June 27th, I became aware long enough to record about five minutes of rambling, splice it together with a bit of the other footage on the camera, and render it into a ready-to-upload file, but before I could actually, y'know, upload it, I was gone again. My roommate said that early in July, I used my trimmer to basically shear most of my hair off and then disappeared, leaving a note with rent money and an assurance that I'd be back. And then last night happened.

Anyway, the camera. I had taken my old digital camera to the park with me. Can't rightly remember why, I think it was because I thought I saw something in the trees the day before. Everything that happened on the video that was posted (from my camera, I might add) is what I remember. I walked into the pavilion, walked by that table, and it was empty. When I turned back around, the camera was there. It's a Flip, white, and appears to have a one-hour memory. I reached out to pick it up and see what it was doing there, and the next thing I remember is waking up this morning. I don't remember...well, anything you'll see. I don't remember recording a video on June 27th, and I sure as hell don't remember whatever happened that made my Mystery Poster happy.

Whoever attacked me, left me there, made me forget everything, also took my original digital camera, and left me with the Flip. Normally, I'd be happy to have a new camera, but right now? I'm just angry. I don't like losing time, and I especially don't like to apparently do things that I don't remember doing. It's infuriating. So, mystery man? I'm going to find you. And when I do, I'm going to hurt you. And you're going to tell me what you know about yourself, and about why my brother is missing, but apparently still able to post to the internet. Just remember that.

June 27th was such a wonderful day.

I miss it.

Jackson won't. The poor boy. Soon, he'll understand what he has to do.

Like staring through a block of frosted glass.

I can see the world, though the view is flimsy and always threatening to break.

Oh, God, Jackson, where are you?